And The Envelope Please...

Skipped a day yesterday just because. 

Didn't go Black Friday shopping for the first time in quite some years.  Shockingly it's not because I'm not working, ha!, but because there wasn't really anything that was needed.  Nothing crazy that was calling my name or the names of my family.

Had a great Thanksgiving at my Sister's place, ate the shit out of some Set it And Forget It Turkey and enjoyed my nieces.  They're brilliant and beautiful.  Shocking that I would say that, I know.

So, as I predicted, I kinda ran out of ideas for a makeover on this thing.  Not a surprise, as if I was bursting with "all new, all different" blog ideas I wouldn't be having this dilemma anyway, right?  Anywho, and the winner is....

A bit of all of them.  Cheap way out, but I'm going to come up with a schedule, probably change this to 5 days a week, and do a different feature each day.  Thurs. will probably be new comic thoughts, 3 days a week would probably be back issue single features.  And the 5th day will most likely be a creator retrospective.  I think that would all make me very happy.

Maybe the weekends will be my mental dumping ground, as this has been for 2 months.  I'll continue the movie of the Day as well.


MotD: Hearts of Darkness

This is the documentary of the making of Apocalypse Now.  I've heard and read descriptions of both the actual making of and this doc specifically, but am just now watching this.  Wow. What an appropriately fucked up shoot for a fucked up war.  I have a history with this movie, Apoc. Now that is.  Had a rough patch in High School and was staying up late one night, because I had 4 or 5 art projects due the next day.  Yes, 4 or 5 art projects, one night.  I had borrowed a copy of this movie from my man Stingel, Stinger if you're out there, hey! (I never did get him back the copy of the movie.  Years later, around 2002 or so, I got a hold of Stinger's address and Amazon'ed him a copy of the movie, karmic balance, and I never found out what happened, he refused delivery of it, not realizing what it was.  So, I still owe him a copy of Apoc.  Maybe at the 20th reunion?)
Anyway, I put this movie on for the first time and HOLY SHIT.  I watched it 3 times that night, completed 5 art projects, some shittier than the next, some genuinely interesting but that movie burned into my skull.  IIRC that was my first actual all nighter, I was a zombie the next day and all I could think about was bald Brando and The Doors.  Not good times, dark and sad actually, but one of those life moments that you don't forget, shape you in some way, and don't usually share on the Interwebs.  WTF though, here I am, there it is, don't like it, I don't care.  I still can't just watch that movie, when it's on I either turn it off or just call it a night and get into it.

Gobble.

Gobble.



MotD: Sexy Beast

Didn't really know what to expect from this movie.  Had heard it was good, knew Kingsley was nominated for Best Supporting, but I knew fuck all what this was about.  That's a nice rarity these days of overexplanatory trailers and just generally elevated knowledge of entertainment.  It's a crime caper much in the vein of Snatch, Lock Stock and I'm not just saying that because they speak in unintelligible British accents for much of the film.  The characters are quirky, cheeky and pepper their dialogue with the charming English curses like cunt and bugger.  It's not really about the caper though, it's really at heart a character study which takes it's time to peel back and reveal them to us.  It's that peeling that makes it a bit slow to get into.  By my estimation, it took about 25 minutes into an 1 1/2 hour movie to get the plot moving.  That meant we spent a 1/3 of the film with characters that we didn't know and were slowly being revealed, without knowing remotely where this was going.  It picks up and gets real good, it's just a slow starter.  Stick with it, you'll be rewarded.

Verisimilitude

I got my final set of Lantern Rings today!  WHOO HOO!!!  Kneel before the my rings!

Seriously, I love this promotion.  This month, DC gave away multi colored rings to promote the Blackest Night books.  The books themselves are really fantastic.  Add in the bonus of owning 8 rings representing the multi colored Lantern Corps and it's badass. 

Yellow=Fear
Red=Rage
Indigo=Compassion
Violet=Love
Orange=Avarice
Blue=Hope
Black=Death
Green=Willpower

I now can kick all your asses with cosmic retribution, so be good to me.

Idea #4

I've always had an idea for some kind of comedy routine where you play to comic conventions.  In this performance, the comic does the same kinds of stuff you'd do about real life events, things etc. but put it wholly in the comic world.  

So the commentary would not be breaking the 4th wall, but stepping behind it.  So you'd talk about, say The Legion, as if they were totally real.  So the thought for this would be to comment on the comics of the week, which I get at least 7 every week, so that wouldn't be a problem, and provide commentary as if I were a citizen of the universes that they occurred in. 

So it would essentially be a topical blog about fictional universes.  I like the idea, but it's real unformed.  However, I think this has the best potential for some creativity and making something unique and entertaining to a specific crowd.

Thoughts?

MotD: Adventureland

A quiet, understated and well made movie about the summer before college where he's forced to work at a theme park.  I like this kind of movie, very character driven, funny but not slapsticky funny.  It's kinda opposite of the more recent comedy style of lots of improv, crazy non-sequiters and what not.  There's a place for that, and it's fun, but there's something appealing about enjoying the stories of real people who just happen to be funny too.  Recommended for all.

Who dat Ninja?

Blog Brainstorm day 3:

The third in my continuing search for a purpose here.

Idea #3: Creator Spotlight

This would have to be a week at a time, focus on a specific creator I enjoy or dislike, and dig into their works.  The looks would be not so much at the finished product, but what they brought to it, at least as far as it appears on the printed page. 

We can compare across collaborators, to find places where they worked well with others or places they didn't.

Older styles vs. newer evolved styles, both writing and art.

I kinda like this one, but I know this will come with a lot of research to do correctly.  Thoughts?



MotD: Deadgirl

Indie horror movie about two friends who find a dead girl's body in the basement of an abandoned insane asylum.  Totally conflicted about this movie.  It's shot REALLY well, the visuals are excellent and the effects work great.  The acting is at times pretty good and at other times, just ok.  The premise is ODD and disturbing, to say the least, but that doesn't make it bad.  What it makes it is hard to pull off 100%.  I just didn't buy what the boys chose to do in this movie.  I'm not going to spoil it.  None of it seemed like it could happen, and I'm not talking about the supernatural stuff.  Just the way the people behaved was not really how people would behave, which is usually a key in a story with some wild macguffin like the dead girl.  Some good scenes, the gas station was funny, but again, that lady would NOT have acted as she did.  And the ending was just off too.  What exactly happened?  So, it's not really recommended for all, but if you like horror, then you may get something from this.  If you're on the fence, then I'd stay away, just because it's a little crazy.

Behind every good man...

Day 2 in a continuing search for a blog direction.

Idea #2: Character Focus

This would entail spending a week at a time, MAYBE daily for some lesser characters, but some period of time, dissecting characters from comics.  Bigger characters would obviously demand more space, and I'd break it down by era. 

Example, a Golden Age Superman, which I wouldn't do because I don't have the kinds of research material to do it justice, would be a whole week while Modern Age Superman would also get his own week.  However, I think I'd probably stay away from the big guns. 

Most likely I'd focus on the lesser lights, and a good opportunity to look at characters that maybe didn't even have their own series, just played supporting roles in other titles.  Franklin "Foggy" Nelson is a great example.  He's has a tumultuous life, but never his own book.  Alfred Pennyworth would be another good topic.

There would be some research here, to do it right, but much of this should be burned into my head already, so I'd only be looking up reference, like a library, I hope.

So this would be considered the Character Focus version of the blog.  What do you think?  Does this have legs?

MotD: Pretty in Pink

The Molly Ringwald trilogy concludes with the drama and angst of teenage girl love, something I think we all can identify with.  Right?  Hello?  Bueller?  Enjoyable, funny to watch old ass people play high school.  One question, Duckie is gay, right?  Cause Jon Cryer plays him as closet case.  Tying this into comics, it's easy to see the producers of Superman IV: The Quest for a Movie Which We Don't Like to Discuss saw this and said "BOY, that Duckie character would be PERFECT as Lex Luthor's nephew!" Overall, a little angsty for me and the bow that everything tied up with was a bit much.  Not as solid as the previous two days.

Teen Titans Spotlight on...

Keeping with the theme of today's movie, a makeover for the blog is in the works.  As discussed yesterday, I"m gonna throw out some ideas, if you like any in the coming days, speak up.  If you don't like it, speak up.  Not all of these are fully formed or well thought out, but we'll see what sticks.

Idea #1

Comic Spotlight of the Day:
Much like the movie of the day, I'll pick a random issue from my large comic collection, read it and reflect on it.  I can include scans of pages, put in historical perspectives and some background info on the creators, if I can find anything interesting.

I like this one because I'll never run out of issues and there usually is something relevant to discuss even if the comic sucks, the time period it was printed or the creators can often bring a level of discussion to the table. 

I think there'd be some leg work with this, scanning pages and researching.  I don't know if that would be sustainable on a daily basis.  Maybe this becomes a weekly feature?

MotD: The Breakfast Club

Again, like yesterday, nothing I'm gonna say here can possibly be new or exciting.  Very enjoyable, it felt very reminiscent of a stageplay.  Five characters thrust in a room where the audience only knows what we're shown and their manner of dress forces us into the stereotypes the director wants us to envision.  Smart movie, I'm not sure I bought the romances that blossomed here, but I did buy the personality awakenings.  Except maybe Ally Sheedy and AM Hall.  Sheedy just is happy to become a princess type?  I don't know if mental issues are solved by a makeover.  The AM Hall stuff with a gun stood out because of his punishment.  DETENTION for bringing a gun to school  Say that out loud.  Unfortunately that's a crazy notion these days.

Now, you are a man...

This blog needs to evolve.  I know that it needs to find a specific purpose.  I need to have a super sweet sixteen party for it.  Happy Birthday Blog, now here's your first real job as an adult.

I'm leaning towards a specific comic book focus.  Lord knows I've got the resources.

I don't want to do reviews, I'll probably continue to do the Movie of the Day, but the bulk of it will shift to comic books.  My best bet is a historical thing, but since I'm not in the biz, only a fan, I have to approach it from that perspective. 

I've got 25,000 + personal comics here to choose from, so I have a healthy selection from which to pull ideas.  So the question posed to you, my two followers and occasional reader, what specifically should I do with this space?

I'll put up ideas starting Sunday through next weekend, or until I run out of ideas, and will decide then.

Bears!


MotD: Sixteen Candles

First, I feel I must explain how I haven't seen this movie before.  I was 9 when it came out and it was really my older sisters movie.  This, Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink are all getting knocked out this weekend.  These 3 were my Catcher in the Rye movies, I missed them in the wheelhouse, so avoided them in later years.  Having watched it now, I enjoyed it quite a bit.  Nothing I can add here that would be insightful, this is a fairly popular flick.  I will say I was surprised at some of the slapstick elements, specifically the sound effects that would pop up every once in a while.  Odd choices in what I thought was a pretty grounded movie.

They call you The Bandit...

So, The Daily Blank is currently having a Slepski-palooza.  I've apparently infested the homepage with my made up tales of snark.  I hope some other stories kick me out, because it looks like I'm a story hog.

I do like the one about AfterOPRAH though.  I love a MASH reference and an AfterMASH reference with some Jamie Farr thrown in is tops for me.  I hope the Alan Alda quote is not too obscure to be confusing. 

I've got another story in the hopper about Gobots and it dawned on me while writing that just how much freedom I can have here.  I don't want to get overboard with it, but I cannot wait to start really making up some shit.  Just having fun with all the miniscule bullshit that's in my head.

Topics will soon include:

Burt Reynolds
G.I. Joe
Burt Reynolds
Comics
Burt Reynolds

You get my point.  In fact, as I'm typing this I think I may incorporate Burt as a recurring member of Daley's staff.  Maybe put him on the City council.  Seriously.  And this is all as I'm typing this so if stream of conciousness doesn't make super sense, then suck it.

Write a story about something real, the best satire has it's basis in reality IMHO, and in that story, include the mention of Burt being put into place as some position.  Next few stories, just start referencing him giving quotes on the matters at hand.  The shit's getting made up anyway, so why not use Burt.  What is then created, over time, is a paper trail of an imaginary life of cinematic great Burt Reynolds. 

Stay tuned....


MotD: Slacker

Richard Linklater's indie debut feels like a warning sign for what the rest of the 1990's was going to be. It's very entertaining, a very writers movie, kinda like Seinfeld, about nothing and in the process, about everything.  The camera flows from person to person via shared conversations throughout a day in Austin, TX.  Lot's of monologues, some better than others, the best belonging to Madonna's pubis.  Worth seeing to have said you saw it, it has rewatcheability, if only because there's a LOT of concepts tossed about.  Well played, Clerks, well played.

Good Night, Sweet Prince

I have NOT been able to sleep lately.  I don't look forward to sleeping and when I do, it's fitfully and up too early.  Really ruins a day.

So here I am at 1 am, blogging and playing Call of Duty.  I need to stop this all and go to bed.  With that in mind, Adieu.


MotD: Trick 'r Treat

What a wonderful gem this movie is.  I'm pretty sure it wasn't released in theaters, or had a super limited one.  It's a short, fast movie, but packs a lot of punch.  A series of interwoven Halloween scare stories all taking place that night in a small town.  It's got a lot of recognizeable faces in the roles and the effect work really well.  There's fun here and a touch of supernatural.  Nothing quite gets explained and  that's ok.  It's a night for oddities and this is just fun.  I wanted more, the movie is barely 80 minutes.  Probably the best anthology movie I've seen?  Way better than Creepshow and Twighlight Zone and Trilogy of Terror.  You all should see this, it's well worth it.

Just a Good Ole' Boy...

Motherfuck Mayor Daley and his God Damn intersection cameras.  Dick.

I found out today that I got a ticket for blowing a red light.  Only, I didn't blow the red light.  I turned right on a red, which is allowed at that intersection, but it fired off a snapshot anyway.  So now, I've scheduled a contest hearing and have to go down to fight it.  Which brings me to my point...

When did the citizens of a land become the primary income source for it as well?

I don't know the answer, and I'm really not throwing a Tea Party here for no taxes.  But it's something I've been thinking about lately, the fine line between representing the best interests of your citizens, while also taking money from them for doing so.  Money that they almost invariably have NO say in how much is given to the Govt.

Taxes are one thing, they're only going higher, that fights been fought many times.  Parking Meters, Parking Violations, Building Code Violations, all the little nuisances that go into the City coffers, where do these end?  Where is the line drawn?  I can guarantee you that if we had more enforcement of all those things, hired more inspectors or meter maids or what have you, that they would find violations EVERYWHERE and revenue would increase.

So, why is the line drawn where it's at?  Is it some nebulous concept of what the public can tolerate?  In my example here, the camera's doing all the work, so they've essentially automated the process, picking up every single violation.  Is that right?

Money is the deterrent, I get that, but realistically, the fines aren't so much that you'll never risk another rolling stop again, or try to squeeze that free 1/2 hour out of the parking meter because you parked at 6:30.  Sometimes, you'll risk the $50.  No, they put the fee at a relatively minor cost, to keep money flowing from your pocket into theirs, NOT because they want to really curb any bad habits.  If they truly were interested in a deterrent, they'd charge you $1,000 for that parking ticket.

For $1,000, I'd carry extra quarters around.
More parking related thoughts in my article on The Daily Blank, check it out here!

MotD: The Transporter 2

Statham is BACK as the enigmatic Driver.  This time he's on the side of the angels.  It feels a bit like Man on Fire 2: Fire Harder.  Much the same as the first movie, he does crazy stunts, drives fast, kicks ass.  You either like this kind of thing or you don't.  Not much more to say about it really.

The Day Before The Day After Tomorrow

Seize the day is such a cliche, I won't say it.  What I will say is that nothing is a lost cause and things can always be salvaged.

(A quick addendum aside.  WTF is up with the whole bullshit rhyme "I before E except after C"?  That's a crock of shit.  Look at the word Seize.  I don't see a mother fucking C.  Seriously, let's get ahold of the Kindergarten Conglomerate, or whatever organization is in charge of these stupid sayings and get this looked at.  Can we do that?)

Ahem....

Until of course they can't.

Today started fine, got up at a decent hour, planned to watch a flick, hit the gym then finish an article for The Daily Blank, which you should all be reading.  Today I finished an article about The Gobots, hopefully it'll be up soon. Started watching Gosford Park and realized that wow, I don't enjoy period pieces at 9 in the morning.  Switched gears to Horse Feathers, but the damage was done.

Moped around all day and actually dreaded going to class tonight. Not because of class, because it would mean I would have to get dressed and leave the house.  I did, however, and here's where today's lesson lies.

Energy, commitment and completely surrendering to the moment can save a day.  By putting energy into the class and committing to fulfilling my agreement, I was able to surrender the mopey demons I was fighting with today.  The more I put into class, the less I was "in a bad place".  Top it off with watching some quality main stage improv and sketch, and I laughed a ton, putting a positive capper on an otherwise shit day.

Tomorrow comes in 16 minutes and I look forward to it.

MotD: Horse Feathers

Man, the Marx Brothers bring the funny. I'm a recent convert and they are seriously entertaining.  They've earned their reputation.  Back in High School Chris Ruhnke was a big Marx Brothers guy.  When we talked comedy, he'd always bring up Groucho.  Shame on me for taking almost 17 years to check it out.  I preferred Duck Soup over Horse Feathers, but there are solid laughs in this.  I can't pretend to be an expert in their work, so I'll just implore you to NOT wait 17 years like I did and treat yourself to a classic Marx Brothers.  If you don't enjoy it, I'll eat my hat.

Naval Porn

Here's a two page sketch we had to write for class.  It needs work, nothing groundbreaking, but it's what I wrote today, so that's what you get.  Hope you chuckle.

DAD, 55, and SON, 27, stand just outside a door.

DAD

I’m proud of you, Son. This is the first day of the rest of your life.

SON

You say that every year and I don’t see this turning out any differently.

Dad puts his arm around Son

DAD

Sure it will. I’ve been calling my Navy pals, they promised me you’ll get in this time.

SON

Dad, I think it’s time you faced reality. I’m not cut out for the Navy. I’ve been rejected 9 times. First it was the physical exams...

DAD

Then I got you on a program, whipped you into shape.

SON

Then it was the psychological exams...

DAD

And I’m still paying for the shrink. Those night terrors have almost gone away.

SON

Dad, I’m 27 years old., that’s a little old to enlist. People usually sign up at 18.

DAD

But they’ll make a man out of you, like it did for all of us Taskowski’s.

SON

Dad, it’s time you knew something. My mother and I wanted to wait for the right time, but, well...

DAD

What is it?

SON

I’m adopted Dad. I’m not your biological son.

Dad recoils in horror

SON

Mom and I love you very much, I need you to know that. But I’m not your biological child. Mom found me in a dumpster when you were away on duty.

DAD

During Grenada?

SON

During Grenada. She found me, knew you weren’t coming home for 6 months... she just pretended I was your real baby.

DAD

But that doesn’t make sense. I saw pictures of her pregnant.

SON

She paid women at Planned Parenthood to take those.

DAD

That explains why her head was always cropped off. I don’t know what to do with this.

SON

Dad, nothing’s changed. Your wife and I love you very, very much. I’m still your son! You still raised me! Some might say I love you more because Mom chose me to be your son. Out of all the dumpster babies in the world, I’m your dumpster baby.

DAD

I don’t know, what’ll the guys at the VFW say when they find out I have a dumpster baby?

SON

They’ll say I’m the luckiest dumpster baby ever, because you’re my Pop.

DAD

Gosh, when you put it that way. Whatta ya say we get out of here and grab a beer? Maybe your brother Tommy’s off work and can join us.

Son puts his arm around his Dad as they walk away

SON

Yeah, Dad, about Tommy...

Fade Out.

MotD: The Final Countdown

Boy, was I disappointed when I put this in and it wasn't a Europe best of DVD.  Then I realized the premise was "What if we took an Aircraft Carrier from 1980 and time travelled to December 6th, 1941 and try to avoid all the infamy that was about to take place?"  I'm a sucker for time travel stories, so on that alone I recommend seeing this.  However, Pearl, we have a problem.  A HUGE chunk of this movie is taken up by what I'm now referring to as Naval Porn.  You're familiar with this if you've seen Top Gun.  Many, many shots of the Aircraft Carrier at work.  So many, in fact, it felt like a recruitment video.  Top Gun is the VHS glam porno that eschews story for sweaty beach volleyball, while The Final Countdown is the late 70's Dirk Diggler film that still puts up the pretense of being a pizza delivery guy, or a plumber with an ulterior motive.

The other problem I had with this, is the lack of anything happening.  If you've seen Inglorious Basterds, and if you haven't shame on you, this is the opposite.  They have a ton of firepower that can wipe those Zeroes out of the sky, but ultimately don't.  It breaks the drama rule of firing a gun if you see it.  And the one bit of time travel trickery they do try to pull on you, is telegraphed with all the subtlety of an Elephant's Prick.  All that said, it's worth a watch and keeps your interest, but ultimately leaves you with blue balls.

Texas Hangover

Hangovers suck.  There I said it.  I said it in Chicago.

Amazing insight, I know, that's just a small slice of what I bring to the table. 

Playing poker with a hangover isn't suggested.  I am NOT blaming the hangover for an eventual loss in the tourney, it's just not fun.  You have to think and remember things and "read" people and all that crap, which is really, really hard to do when you're having trouble focusing and keeping your head up. 

Made all the more difficult when playing side games and each hand is a different set of rules with some wild cards thrown in too.  Way too much for my brain to work through.  Ah well, Que Sera Sera.  Still nice to see my South Side brethren.

Excercising with a hangover is also not a pleasane experience.  It does have the nice effect of getting the toxins out, or so it feels, but when your sweat smells like malted hops, you got problems.  It also has the wonderful effect of rewaking the symptoms of the hangover.  The headache pounds harder, dizzy spells, just good times for all.


MotD: The Transporter

Pretty entertaining actioner.  Well shot, slickly directed.  Jason Statham, who's a pretty watchable, British Bruce Willis, plays a driver working for criminals to deliver packages, no strings.  He works by a set of inviolable rules, but when he breaks one of his own rules, you know hell's coming to breakfast.  Action happens, bullets fly, baddies scowl.  Nothing groundbreaking, but well worth a view for fans of action.

Drunk.

I've been drinking tonight, so there's nothing groundbreaking to discuss here.

I didn't even watch an actual film today.  I did, however, watch a few episodes of this season's HEROES and here are my thoughts.

Someone got ahold of the producers and regained the position that they took in the first season.  Totally ignores seasons two and three, outside of continuity issues, and gets back to people with powers getting by in life.

Like, seriously, it is a TOTALLY different show from seasons 2 and 3, very much like season 1.  Thankfully they put Sylar back to being a BADASS. 

I can't recommend any newcomers to get onboard, but I will commend anyone that stuck through these awful 2 years, you're being rewarded.  It's not amazing TV, but it is entertaining.

Enolam Tegrof!

I had an awful, awkward exchange today at the gym.  There's a girl there that is a dead ringer for an acquaintance of mine  I even saw her there once with her boyfriend, further cementing in my head that it's someone I know.  If I'm unsure of someone, I usually can find a non embarrasing way to cut through the awkwardness of an identity crisis.

Not today.

It caught me by surprise, I opened my mouth before I had a chance to think about it, and no, it wasn't her.  The problem is, I ABSOLUTELY know this person.  She said, "No, my name isn't... it's ....".  And my mind raced even faster,  because with the real name, now I REALLY DO know her, it just isn't who I thought it was. 

I even referenced where she went to school and where she lived, and she said "Yeah", but she couldn't recall me at all.  It was just awkward and embarrasing.  I'll confer with some peeps and it'll get sorted out, but that's today's entry in "Awkward Exchanges at The Gym"!!!

MotD: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

Obviously this movie was gonna suck and it doesn't disappoint.  Completely formulaic rehash of other Chainsaws, not scary, not funny, just god awful.  Leatherface looks like that wrestler, Mankind I think it was?  I know WWF stole the look from this, but that's all I thought of.  Yes, this is the one with Zellweger and McConnaughy, but even if you an tolerate those two, it's just 8 shades of shitty.

Bully in a China Shop

Bullying is crazy.  What's a bully?  What crosses the line between being mean to someone and being a bully?  I think it's all in perspective.

I was a taller, bigger kid, so not many of my classmates picked on me.  But I absolutely have memories of people bullying me, usually older boys.  Horrible shit, done by awful asshats.  That said, they were just kids too.  Probably struggling with broken homes, low I.Q. and uncontrollable erections.  Doesn't excuse it, but hey, I'm trying to be compassionate.

Generally I think I was in a good place, but like all things, it's all about perspective.  There are some people in my childhood/teen years that were just unbearable to be around and at a certain point, even Job would tell them to go scratch.  Does that make one a bully?  I don't know.  I do know that there are some things I look back on and wish I could take back or just wish it was handled differently.  That's what amend making is for I guess?

Life would be fantastic if there was a karma meter, like in a video game, as you make choices your meter slides up or down.  Others can clue into it and see how you rate too.  So if you first meet someone, they would be either real nice to you or treat you like a dick, because you have super bad karma.

I do think that once you're an adult, there's no excuse to allow someone to bully you.  The real world has SO many consequences now, that if someone does act in a boorish manner, you're responsible for yourself.  Call HR, call the cops, punch them in the face.  Or, best idea yet, walk away.  Let that person live in their frightening world of insignificant power trips.  It's when you're young and your world barely extends past the schoolyard, that bullying can be so terrifying, because it strips all illusion of control that you barely have as a kid.

MotD: The Benchwarmers

Rob Schneider, David Spade team up with Napoleon Dynamite to play baseball against children in this childhood bully revenge fantasy.  Yes, his name is Jon Heder, but he's Napoleon here, and don't say he's not.  I think the most surprising thing about this film is my lack of desire to punch Rob Schneider in the face.  He's pretty tolerable, if not terribly funny.  But he's the straight man here, so maybe that's why he's not inducing douche chills.  Don't get me wrong, this is a completely forgettable movie, but it's not offensive, it's just not much to speak of.

What's your Herbie Hancock?

Yesterday, class, we talked about artistic styles.  Anyone can see right off that artists draw differently, that's not groundbreaking.  With some time and an eye, you can learn to spot the pieces of an artists style that makes it theirs.  This is what allows you to recognize a specific style and put a name to it. 

This is a Walter Simonson fist.

See that raised middle knuckle?  He does that on most all of his clenched fists, it's one of his "things".

This is a Byrne midsection.

Look at the thickness of the ribcage.  He gives his figures a barrel chest, reminiscent of old time body builders.

A good artist is aware of these things and controls them.  A great artist can emulate other styles at will, changing theirs to match existing one.  A bad artist simply steals specific things without adding anything new to it, swiping is the term.  The 90's comics boom was built on them.  Let's not bring up bad times.

So, how do you apply this to other areas of life.  What are your ticks?  What are your habits?  What things do you do, better than anyone else, or distinctively from everyone else, that you call your own?


MotD: Beer League

Artie Lange's semibiographical comedic take on softball leagues in Jersey has enough moments to make you chuckle, but feels stilted as an actual story.  It's not really plot driven, slovenly Artie and his drunk team need to get better at softball and life.  It's more about making fun of Italians, drunks, athletes, and people in general.  In that, it succeeds.  There's the kind of funny lines in this that made Artie a perfect fit for the Howard Stern show.  Much of the movie feels like just setups to work the one liners in.  Since they get it to work as well as they do is a testament to them.  None of it feels forced, it just doesn't feel like real conversation between actual people.  Oh, and the Karate Kid is in this and he might be the worst actor in the whole movie.  Good for a laugh.

We could be Heroes, just for one day

I'm watching Heroes, catching up on Netflix the mess that was last season, and I just got to where Matt Parkman started drawing the future.  This is the plot device they used to great effect in the first season, where a bonafide comic book artist was drawing visions, which led the characters down their respective paths.  They made the mistake of killing him, so they've had to shoehorn in plot contrivances to keep illustrations alive.

The only problem is they're all done by the mega talented Tim Sale.  If you don't know his name, it's a shame, because his work is truly amazing.  Primarily known for his Batman work, he pairs up with writer Jeph Loeb for most of his projects.  "Batman: The Long Halloween" is an absolute must read and see.  His style is chunky, yet fluid, and minimalist in the details.  He can convey mood with very few brush/penstrokes. 

So why is using Sale a problem?  Because EVERY person that has had this premonition power draws in the exact same style as Sale!  Obviously, because Sale does all the actual artwork, but for this comic fan, at least, it's disconcerting.  Comics all look different.  Superheroes don't really have a specific look, like cartoons or most animation, because the characters are interpreted differently by every artist.  The costumes stay the same, logos, etc, but the majesty of the art form is one person's Superman will look vastly different from another artists.

Superman by Tim Sale

Superman by Jim Lee

Superman by John Byrne

Seeing the same style come through at least 4 different Heroes characters becomes problematic because it ties them all together.  Is this the exact same power?  If so, how did the Aborigine and the NY artist have it at the same time?  Peter was given it from the NY artist, and Parkman got it from the Aborigine, so I can see that.  But what's the connection between the NY and Aborigine?  These are the questions that a nitpick comic fan will come up with when you don't use different art styles for the visions.  I LOVE TIM SALE!  Don't get me wrong, it just would have been cool to see another style crop up as the vision power transferred to others.

MotD: Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III

New Line's attempt to revitalize an icon isn't an entirely horrible affair.  In retrospect, it didn't work, and the dialogue is clunky, the actors stiff and wooden, but the suspense is decent enough in places and Viggo Mortenson is awesome as should be expected.  The iconization of Leatherface feels a bit forced here.  He gets a chrome plated chainsaw, you learn more about his life away from the mass murdering, etc.  Kinda the opposite of what he was, which is just a force of nautre, unleashed to hack meat.  This movie definitely corporatized the franchise in a way that the recent remake dehumanized it.  Like both films went for opposite directions.

Cardinals, Turkeys and Bears, oh shit.

I was too drunk last night to get into the Bears.  Today I'm too depressed.  WTF.  Nothing I can say will add anything to the discourse, so fuck it.  They're awful.

I have to write a dialogue free scene for class this week.  I really admire the way a well told, economical visual narrative can be created.  There's an example in a book about two people, looking longingly at each other, one removes a ring, leaves it on a bedstand, something like that.  It conveys everything you need to know about those two people, in that place, at that time.  It's really nice.  I need to try and do that today.

Saturday I saw "Mrs. Gruber's Ding Dong School" over at the Gorilla Tango Theater, 1919 N. Milwaukee.  I recommend it to anyone that wants to laugh.  Solid skits, tied together by a preschool, Pee Wee Playhouse-esque, Mr. Rogers-ey theme.  Very funny stuff and very talented performers.  The wrap up of the show is worth the price of admission.  Well done.  I believe they only have 2 more weeks in the run, so get off your ass and see it.


MotD: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

This movie reminds me of Psycho 2 and I'm not entirely sure why.  Maybe it's just the 1980's in it, bad lighting, horrible synth horror soundtrack, or just that it's the expansion of a "world" we saw in a superior first film.  Leatherface is back, but it turns out he and his family never really went anywhere.  They've continued to terrorize Texas like Texas terrorizes the rest of America.  Stretch, a spunky DJ, teams with Lefty, a high as a kite Dennis Hopper, to try and stop the chainy carnage.  Schlock ensues, blah blah blah.  A good example of how not to do a horror movie, nothing really happens, so nothing is really actually scary.

Why your friends suck.

And mine don't.

11 years now, we've celebrated Thankstaking.  Not a "Friends Thanksgiving" or some kind of other warmed over festival.  11 years ago we got together and said, "Fuck it.  We like to eat well, we're not in the habit of sharing, we'll make a delicious meal all for ourselves." And so Thankstaking was born.

I was there and that's how it started.  Here we are, still celebrating delicious goodness, fisting birds and the Bears still make the meal unpalatable.  Not that we need an excuse to tie one on in the middle of the Fall, but we'll take what we can get.

So, I implore all of you out there, if you're getting together with your friends, trying some kind of yearly thing, whatever it is you're doing.... Brand it.  Put a name on it, label it something fun and meaningful, then stand behind it and don't shy away from it.  Wish people a Happy Thankstaking and when they look at you funny, make them feel like they're the ones that should know what you're talking about.  Own it. 

MotD: Destination: Mars!

There have been a bit of a slew of movies like this in the last decade or so.  Homage films paying tribute to the Ed Wood style 1950's "classic" but awful sci fi films.  I love those movies as much as the next guy, and totally for the camp.  Which makes movies like this and Skeleton of Cadavra and, shit there was another that's escaping me right now, so tough to review.  Are they bad because they're bad intentionally or are they bad because they're doing such a great job of emulating a horrible genre?  Honestly I don't know.  This one opens the film with a modern day documentary on the "unearthing" of the lost film, it adds a bit to the movie, but it in itself isn't really funny or game changing.  Like the film itself, is it trying to be funny mocking or funny because it's bad.  I really don't know.  There were some genuinely fun things in the movie, but few and far between.  They did a fantastic job of emulating the Ed Woodian type Sci-Fi films, I'm just not sure if that's a good thing or not?

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MotD: Silent Movie

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Hail, Hail Resurrection!

Why are there no horror movies about Easter?

I know, "The Passion of The Christ", but c'mon, that doesn't count.  I'm talking about a full on, Bunny suited killer movie.  I'm sure there's been some low low budget crap thing, but really, something that people have heard of?

A quick IMDB search shows nothing.  A ton of cartoons, nothing in this genre.  Let's make that happen.

Premise:
A young boy searches for his Easter Eggs.  He gets lost, trapped in a sewage ditch.  The search last for days until he's found, during this time he's traumatized by rats, excrement and sewage.  He grows to hate Easter and as an adult, refuses to let his kids participate.  One year he finds one of them decorating an egg and he snaps, hitting the kid.  The police are called, he's hauled away for abuse, his wife leaves him, he becomes a wreck.  The following year, mysterious eggs are found in the homes of all the people involved with his downfall.  The eggs are all poisoned, explosive, full of acid, etc.  A bunny suited killer lurks among us. 

That would be sweet.  Horrible, I'm sure, but awesome.  Can you imagine the one shot that has an Easter Basket, all wrapped up in celophane, someone opens it and a severed head is inside?  Yes!  That's your poster.

My gift to you, Hollywood.  My gift to you.
MotD: Mother's Day

Cross "I Spit on Your Grave" with "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and you have this gem from the good folks at Troma films.  "House of 1000 Corpses" owes something to this as well.  In case you haven't gleaned yet, Mother's Day isn't the feel good, life affirming film you want to share with your actual Mom.  Unless your last name is Gacy.  3 young women go off into the woods for an isolated camping weekend and horror ensues when a mother and her two hillbilly sons cross their path.  The requisite gas station warning is involved as well.  Great sadistic performance by the Mother who just wants her sons to be the best they can be!  Not an entirely awful Troma movie, which says a lot.