Jonah Hex Filmmakers Attacked

Jonah Hex director Jimmy Hayward was found tied up and horsewhipped earlier today, just hours after his movie opened across America.  Police were summoned after neighbors overheard the sound of horses and spurs jangling, amid gunshots.

Witnesses report a tall man, riding a horse, dragged the director around in circles before eventually using Hayward for target practice.  The mystery man was described as rakishly handsome by witnesses on the West side of the property.  Oddly, the witnesess on the East side described him as horribly scarred.

A police sketch was done, pictured here, and distributed throughout the Hollywood Hills.

Later in the aftenoon, Jonah Hex co-star Megan Fox was the victim of vehicular violence.  Fox was driving down Sunset Boulevard as an unseen assailant fired shots at her car, puncturing only the tires, resulting in her car careening onto the sidewalk.

No one was injured, however Fox was overheard asking onlookers "Why didn't my car just transform into something else and stop this?  What's happenening here?"

There were no witnesses to the shooter, but police found spent shell casings on a nearby rooftop.  Strangely, the casings seem to be for antique Smith & Wesson six shooters from the 1860's.

A third Jonah Hex related incident occurred a later at Grumman's Chinese Theater, which was showing the film.  Midway through the movie, an unknown prankster released dozens of Rattlesnakes into the theater.

The entire theater was evacuated, 3 people were taken to the hospital with snakebites, none of them life threatening.

All these Jonah Hex relate crimes seem to indicate a larger plan, possibly a publiciy stunt for the film.  Jonah Hex comic book author, Jimmy Palmiotti, commented on the possibility.

"All I'm saying is Hex has a history of living hard and dying harder.  He's also been known to time travel.  So, and I'm just speculating here, I wouldn't be surprised if he was a little pissed about how his movie turned out and wanted to do something about it.  Just saying is all I'm saying." Palmiotti said.

MotD: Magic

I thought this would be a creepier film, about a man and his demented puppet, terrorizing New York.  What we got is a nice performance from Anthony Hopkins, Burgess Meredith playing Mickey for a magician, and Ann Margret married to a complete mismatched husband.  Maybe I missed somthing, but I never really understood how Hopkins did what he did.  I thought there was some kind of mystical stuff going on, but reading the boards it appears he simply schizophrenic.  Glad I watched it, but overall not worth a rewatch.

Fresh Air, Fresh Start, Fresh Breath

Marvel Comics publisher and CCO, Joe Quesada, announced that Marvel will be upping the price on all titles to $9.99 starting with the September shipping books.

"We decided to just cut to the chase." Quesada said. "The good news for retailers is that we're maintaing the cost under $10, which is very important to us."

"We care about the retailers and consider them partners in our operation which is why we made this move." Quesada continued. "If we didn't support them, we'd have gone past the Ten Dollar mark, easily.

Industry pundits have claimed this is the death knell for direct market comic book shops.  The higher price point will drive readers away from the printed product and towards the digital offerings.
"Digital?  Oh, Digital will remain $1.99 an issue." Quesada said. "That's a price point that online readers have come to expect and we don't see an upheaval in that anytime soon."

"Print readers have been complacently putting up with escalating prices for years with little actual repurcussions to sales, so why not do it, right?" Quesada said.  "I overheard an 8 year old on the subway telling his buddy that he remembered when comics were $1.50.  An 8 year old!  I know, right!  You're thinking what I'm thinking!  What's an 8 year old doing on a train alone?  What can I say, parenting these days, sheesh.  What's that?  What were we talking about?"

In related news, local comic shops were sadly looking up the words "irrelevance" and "dinosaur" on Wikipedia.

MotD: American Werewolf in Paris

Not good.  Not funny, slow to get started, horrid acting and dumb, just dumb.

Holy Crap, Batman.

Jesus, it's been a month since I blogged.  Been an exciting month for sure.  We're booked into and start rehearsals on Sunday for...

Half in the Bag and Bored!

Which is going to be a sketch comedy revue put on during the upcoming C2E2 comic book convention here in Chicago, at McCormick Place.

Sat. 4/17 at 2:45

So, me and my writing partner, the uber talented Joe Goltz (Shout out Wisconsin!) were writing our asses off this last month.  Script is final, still some last minute tweaking but we planned for that.

Hired a great director, Jason Chin, with deep comic knowledge and 15 years of directing sketch~!

Cast a FANTASTIC group of performers, now known as Mid Grade Comics!, Ana, Alex, Rammel, Jeff, Siobhan, Kelsey, Mark, Joe and Myself to put it on.  More on them as we near the show.

Truthfully, I really hope it's funny, and moreso that my team feels it's worth their effort.  They're going to be putting in a lot of work, we all are, and I hope it lives up to it.  That's my fear, that the group would feel it's not at least palatable material.

We will be putting on a Tech Rehearsal at Gorilla Tango theater the week prior.  More on that as it nears...

So great stuff.  Movies have been about 80%, but I'm trying to keep up one a day~!

MotD: The House that Dripped Blood

Hammer Horror has a nice big soft spot on my neck.  It bit me as a kid, just a couple of them, and I've loved everything I've seen of theirs, which admittedly isn't much.  I've got a ton of Hammer in my queue and this is the start of them.  This was an anthology of a house that brings doom to all who live in it.  Steals a bit from House of Wax, but that was what Hammer did best, take the cool aspects of other horror movies and put Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee in it and make it more awesome!  No let down here.  Really fun.

Oil and Water

Busy week!  Put down some cocktails in NOLA for the Superbowl, passed out through the game, but rallied for the afterparty.  What can I say, I got  issues. ;-) Biggest news is we're putting on a show.  That's right, I and some friends will be writing/directing/producing/starring in a sketch comedy show for the upcoming C2E2 convention.  Details to be forthcoming, but needless to say excitement is high and creativity is popping!

Reading Son of Ambush Bug this week.  LOVE me some Ambush Bug!

For those uninitiated out there, AB is a creation of Keith Giffen and scripted by Robert Loren Fleming.  He first showed up in Superman books as kind of a villian.  He possessed a 4th wall breaking sense of self and his comic series were always a mish mash of wacky, metatextual gags on the comics industry.

Giff and Fleming use a Borscht Belt style humor which is just note perfect.  Corny at times, there's such a sense of fun in all his books that the groaners are easily overlooked.

Cheeks, The Toy Wonder, might be my favorite cast member, after AB himself of course.  He's just a doll, but gets into misadventures.  Kinda like Peter Sellers in Being There. 

AB's archenemy is Argh'yle, Doctor Doom reimagined as a sock.

This is funny comics.  In a way, it's a precursor to the JLI books that everyone loves so much.  Seek these out for a good time.

Now for something completely different...

MotD: United 93 and World Trade Center

This is what happens when Netflix recommends movies.  Your queue becomes a rolling account of your interests, flowing with styles and actors.  At times it becomes like a six degrees of Kevin Bacon game, where you can see how the movies in your queue are connected to one another.  So, when you select one movie, it recommends another one like it.  You then get a double whammy of United 93 and WTC in back to back days.  I'm very glad I watched these, both are very well done and I recommend them to everyone.  Just not back to back and just be ready for it.  Not feel good, it stirs a lot of memories, as it should.

Video killed the televison too

My goddamned tv broke yesterday.  Grrr....  Google searches are telling me it's a blown capacitor, even my tv has more fun than me.  I think I'm gonna crack it open and see if I can replace it myself, get a buddy of mine to do the work, I don't know shit about motherboards.  Probably not going to do the repair route, because spending $500, which seems to be the average, on a product that will probably break again seems crazy.

That said, I don't know if I want to get a new one either.  I'm at a crossroads here where I do NOT want to continue to encumber myself with "stuff".  At least not now.  Who am I fooling, I like some bullshit, but for now, I'm interested in getting leaner and meaner, more mobile if you will.  Dropping $1k on an electronic albatross is not that.

The flip side of that is sad too.  This TV was the thematic icon for my journeys.  I put myself in some crazy debt after college (who didn't) and in 2000 I made some dramatic turnarounds, financially and personally.  I dug myself out and when I made the choice to buy a condo 4 years ago, I paid proud cash for that tv.  It was the first thing I bought for this place.  It's a symbol of my independence and yet it does that by keeping me shackled to the couch.  Yes, I see the conflict there.

So, as someone who looks for signs, sees portents in events, this is telling me something.  I think it's telling me to get off my ass and go places.

MotD: Up

No fooling, this was the movie I was watching when the TV crapped out (see above soul searching).  If you've not seen it, it's the Pixar brilliance of a man whos life flew by and he never realized the one dream he had since a boy, live in Paradise Falls in South America.  So, he ties balloons to his house and  floats the house to South America, like anyone sane would do.  He has a stowaway in the form of a young wilderness scout and hijinx ensue.  It's the things we collect that weigh us down and I think there's a reason why this is the dvd that broke the TV's back.

Late to the Party Disassembled!

Busy week over here.  Knocked out multiple sketches and dug my heels deeply into an Ushers rewrite.  Keep reminding myself that the original exists and I shouldn't be afraid to change things.  That's my new mantra.  Kinda clunky, but whatever.

I gotta cut down on my monthly selection of new comics.  I will try to list all the books I'm reading.

Marvel Comics
(Ongoing)
New Avengers
Mighty Avengers
Avengers: The Initiative
Dark Avengers
X-Men: Legacy
Uncanny X-Men
Wolverine: Origins
Dark Wolverine
Wolverine: Weapon X
Thor
Hulk
Incredible Hulk
Captain America
Daredevil
Fantastic Four
Punisher: Max
Secret Warriors
Ultimate Spider-Man
Ultimate Avengers
(limited)
Ultimate Comics Enemy
Siege
Siege Embedded
Fall of the Hulks
Marvelous Land of Oz

DC Comics
(Ongoing)
Action Comics
Adventure Comics
Superman
Superman: World of New Krypton
Supergirl
Batman & Robin
Justice League of America
Justice Society of America
Green Lantern
Green Lantern Corps
The Flash
Doom Patrol
(Limited)
Darkest Night & spinoffs

Independents
Die Hard: Year One
G.I. Joe
G.I. Joe Origins

I guarantee I'm missing something here.  It's gotten to the point where I look forward to hearing that one of my books has been cancelled, because that means I don't have to buy it or feel guilty for not buying it.

I got issues.  That should be the name of my blog.  I Got Issues.  Holy Shit.  I think we got it.

Done, rebranded.

MotD: District 9

The minute I saw the trailer for this movie I was super excited to see it.  Sure enough, I screwed up and missed it in the theater then had to sit here and listen for everyone to rave how good it was while I waited for Netflix to send it to me.  Waitings over fools, this movie was cool.  I love the concept and the ease with which they presented it.  The nonchalance commonplace that the humans treated the Prawns was what sold it for me.  No spoilers here, but recommended with the highest rating.  Fantastic Sci Fi.

Back Scratching

South Side hijinx this weekend.  Putting in quality home time watching the dog.  Gives me time to catch up on reading!

I can't recommend enough the comic magazine Back Issue put out by TwoMorrows publishing.  I've been reading this book since about issue 9 or so, it comes out bimonthly (That's every two months to you nimrods).  It's on around #37 or so and while some issues are hit or miss, the overall concept is tops.

It's a Black and White pub devoted to comic books of the 1970's and 80's.  That's my wheelhouse right there.  Funny because I didn't really start getting into comics until 87 or so, but immediately, my collection looked backwards to the past.  In fact, that's the best part about collecting comics, the history.

Each book builds on the other, whether you like it or not.  The fans demand that this is so.  You can get an entirely new creative staff on a book, taking it in a totally new direction, and your fans will absolutely hold you to a throw away line, 3 issues before the writer came onboard, where Nightcrawler said he hated anchovies.  In your book you have him eating anchovies.  BUSTED.  You fucked up.  And the awesome thing is, the reader is right.  It certainly isn't important in the story, but they're right.  Any time a creator dismisses continuity, they immediately sound sour grapes, because they didn't do the homework, or didn't have the talent to use the past continuity to work their story around.

This is really, in my opinion, the strength of the 70's and 80's creators.  These were the first generation of fans graduating to creators and they respected the shit out of continuity.  They made a point of not contradicting things, and if they did, they included an explanation in it somewhere in the script.  I admire that.  That feels like they're respecting the medium and the readers.

So, this veered off into a discussion why that era is awesome.  I'll talk more about Back Issue tomorrow, but read it, it's a great mag!

MotD: Ace In The Hole

Kirk Douglas is a pimp!  I had heard about this movie when the Criterion disc came out last year and it didn't disappoint.  He plays a newspaper reporter, looking for a big story.  When he comes across a man trapped in a cave in, he seizes upon the opportunity to milk it for all it's worth.  A true visionary film into what the media would become 50 years after the film.  The circus that develops just ruins him, after elevating him first and deluding him into thinking he's getting exactly what he wants.  I recommend this movie very strongly.  It's really, really a good film.