Jonah Hex Filmmakers Attacked

Jonah Hex director Jimmy Hayward was found tied up and horsewhipped earlier today, just hours after his movie opened across America.  Police were summoned after neighbors overheard the sound of horses and spurs jangling, amid gunshots.

Witnesses report a tall man, riding a horse, dragged the director around in circles before eventually using Hayward for target practice.  The mystery man was described as rakishly handsome by witnesses on the West side of the property.  Oddly, the witnesess on the East side described him as horribly scarred.

A police sketch was done, pictured here, and distributed throughout the Hollywood Hills.

Later in the aftenoon, Jonah Hex co-star Megan Fox was the victim of vehicular violence.  Fox was driving down Sunset Boulevard as an unseen assailant fired shots at her car, puncturing only the tires, resulting in her car careening onto the sidewalk.

No one was injured, however Fox was overheard asking onlookers "Why didn't my car just transform into something else and stop this?  What's happenening here?"

There were no witnesses to the shooter, but police found spent shell casings on a nearby rooftop.  Strangely, the casings seem to be for antique Smith & Wesson six shooters from the 1860's.

A third Jonah Hex related incident occurred a later at Grumman's Chinese Theater, which was showing the film.  Midway through the movie, an unknown prankster released dozens of Rattlesnakes into the theater.

The entire theater was evacuated, 3 people were taken to the hospital with snakebites, none of them life threatening.

All these Jonah Hex relate crimes seem to indicate a larger plan, possibly a publiciy stunt for the film.  Jonah Hex comic book author, Jimmy Palmiotti, commented on the possibility.

"All I'm saying is Hex has a history of living hard and dying harder.  He's also been known to time travel.  So, and I'm just speculating here, I wouldn't be surprised if he was a little pissed about how his movie turned out and wanted to do something about it.  Just saying is all I'm saying." Palmiotti said.

MotD: Magic

I thought this would be a creepier film, about a man and his demented puppet, terrorizing New York.  What we got is a nice performance from Anthony Hopkins, Burgess Meredith playing Mickey for a magician, and Ann Margret married to a complete mismatched husband.  Maybe I missed somthing, but I never really understood how Hopkins did what he did.  I thought there was some kind of mystical stuff going on, but reading the boards it appears he simply schizophrenic.  Glad I watched it, but overall not worth a rewatch.

Fresh Air, Fresh Start, Fresh Breath

Marvel Comics publisher and CCO, Joe Quesada, announced that Marvel will be upping the price on all titles to $9.99 starting with the September shipping books.

"We decided to just cut to the chase." Quesada said. "The good news for retailers is that we're maintaing the cost under $10, which is very important to us."

"We care about the retailers and consider them partners in our operation which is why we made this move." Quesada continued. "If we didn't support them, we'd have gone past the Ten Dollar mark, easily.

Industry pundits have claimed this is the death knell for direct market comic book shops.  The higher price point will drive readers away from the printed product and towards the digital offerings.
"Digital?  Oh, Digital will remain $1.99 an issue." Quesada said. "That's a price point that online readers have come to expect and we don't see an upheaval in that anytime soon."

"Print readers have been complacently putting up with escalating prices for years with little actual repurcussions to sales, so why not do it, right?" Quesada said.  "I overheard an 8 year old on the subway telling his buddy that he remembered when comics were $1.50.  An 8 year old!  I know, right!  You're thinking what I'm thinking!  What's an 8 year old doing on a train alone?  What can I say, parenting these days, sheesh.  What's that?  What were we talking about?"

In related news, local comic shops were sadly looking up the words "irrelevance" and "dinosaur" on Wikipedia.

MotD: American Werewolf in Paris

Not good.  Not funny, slow to get started, horrid acting and dumb, just dumb.

Holy Crap, Batman.

Jesus, it's been a month since I blogged.  Been an exciting month for sure.  We're booked into and start rehearsals on Sunday for...

Half in the Bag and Bored!

Which is going to be a sketch comedy revue put on during the upcoming C2E2 comic book convention here in Chicago, at McCormick Place.

Sat. 4/17 at 2:45

So, me and my writing partner, the uber talented Joe Goltz (Shout out Wisconsin!) were writing our asses off this last month.  Script is final, still some last minute tweaking but we planned for that.

Hired a great director, Jason Chin, with deep comic knowledge and 15 years of directing sketch~!

Cast a FANTASTIC group of performers, now known as Mid Grade Comics!, Ana, Alex, Rammel, Jeff, Siobhan, Kelsey, Mark, Joe and Myself to put it on.  More on them as we near the show.

Truthfully, I really hope it's funny, and moreso that my team feels it's worth their effort.  They're going to be putting in a lot of work, we all are, and I hope it lives up to it.  That's my fear, that the group would feel it's not at least palatable material.

We will be putting on a Tech Rehearsal at Gorilla Tango theater the week prior.  More on that as it nears...

So great stuff.  Movies have been about 80%, but I'm trying to keep up one a day~!

MotD: The House that Dripped Blood

Hammer Horror has a nice big soft spot on my neck.  It bit me as a kid, just a couple of them, and I've loved everything I've seen of theirs, which admittedly isn't much.  I've got a ton of Hammer in my queue and this is the start of them.  This was an anthology of a house that brings doom to all who live in it.  Steals a bit from House of Wax, but that was what Hammer did best, take the cool aspects of other horror movies and put Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee in it and make it more awesome!  No let down here.  Really fun.

Oil and Water

Busy week!  Put down some cocktails in NOLA for the Superbowl, passed out through the game, but rallied for the afterparty.  What can I say, I got  issues. ;-) Biggest news is we're putting on a show.  That's right, I and some friends will be writing/directing/producing/starring in a sketch comedy show for the upcoming C2E2 convention.  Details to be forthcoming, but needless to say excitement is high and creativity is popping!

Reading Son of Ambush Bug this week.  LOVE me some Ambush Bug!

For those uninitiated out there, AB is a creation of Keith Giffen and scripted by Robert Loren Fleming.  He first showed up in Superman books as kind of a villian.  He possessed a 4th wall breaking sense of self and his comic series were always a mish mash of wacky, metatextual gags on the comics industry.

Giff and Fleming use a Borscht Belt style humor which is just note perfect.  Corny at times, there's such a sense of fun in all his books that the groaners are easily overlooked.

Cheeks, The Toy Wonder, might be my favorite cast member, after AB himself of course.  He's just a doll, but gets into misadventures.  Kinda like Peter Sellers in Being There. 

AB's archenemy is Argh'yle, Doctor Doom reimagined as a sock.

This is funny comics.  In a way, it's a precursor to the JLI books that everyone loves so much.  Seek these out for a good time.

Now for something completely different...

MotD: United 93 and World Trade Center

This is what happens when Netflix recommends movies.  Your queue becomes a rolling account of your interests, flowing with styles and actors.  At times it becomes like a six degrees of Kevin Bacon game, where you can see how the movies in your queue are connected to one another.  So, when you select one movie, it recommends another one like it.  You then get a double whammy of United 93 and WTC in back to back days.  I'm very glad I watched these, both are very well done and I recommend them to everyone.  Just not back to back and just be ready for it.  Not feel good, it stirs a lot of memories, as it should.

Video killed the televison too

My goddamned tv broke yesterday.  Grrr....  Google searches are telling me it's a blown capacitor, even my tv has more fun than me.  I think I'm gonna crack it open and see if I can replace it myself, get a buddy of mine to do the work, I don't know shit about motherboards.  Probably not going to do the repair route, because spending $500, which seems to be the average, on a product that will probably break again seems crazy.

That said, I don't know if I want to get a new one either.  I'm at a crossroads here where I do NOT want to continue to encumber myself with "stuff".  At least not now.  Who am I fooling, I like some bullshit, but for now, I'm interested in getting leaner and meaner, more mobile if you will.  Dropping $1k on an electronic albatross is not that.

The flip side of that is sad too.  This TV was the thematic icon for my journeys.  I put myself in some crazy debt after college (who didn't) and in 2000 I made some dramatic turnarounds, financially and personally.  I dug myself out and when I made the choice to buy a condo 4 years ago, I paid proud cash for that tv.  It was the first thing I bought for this place.  It's a symbol of my independence and yet it does that by keeping me shackled to the couch.  Yes, I see the conflict there.

So, as someone who looks for signs, sees portents in events, this is telling me something.  I think it's telling me to get off my ass and go places.

MotD: Up

No fooling, this was the movie I was watching when the TV crapped out (see above soul searching).  If you've not seen it, it's the Pixar brilliance of a man whos life flew by and he never realized the one dream he had since a boy, live in Paradise Falls in South America.  So, he ties balloons to his house and  floats the house to South America, like anyone sane would do.  He has a stowaway in the form of a young wilderness scout and hijinx ensue.  It's the things we collect that weigh us down and I think there's a reason why this is the dvd that broke the TV's back.

Late to the Party Disassembled!

Busy week over here.  Knocked out multiple sketches and dug my heels deeply into an Ushers rewrite.  Keep reminding myself that the original exists and I shouldn't be afraid to change things.  That's my new mantra.  Kinda clunky, but whatever.

I gotta cut down on my monthly selection of new comics.  I will try to list all the books I'm reading.

Marvel Comics
(Ongoing)
New Avengers
Mighty Avengers
Avengers: The Initiative
Dark Avengers
X-Men: Legacy
Uncanny X-Men
Wolverine: Origins
Dark Wolverine
Wolverine: Weapon X
Thor
Hulk
Incredible Hulk
Captain America
Daredevil
Fantastic Four
Punisher: Max
Secret Warriors
Ultimate Spider-Man
Ultimate Avengers
(limited)
Ultimate Comics Enemy
Siege
Siege Embedded
Fall of the Hulks
Marvelous Land of Oz

DC Comics
(Ongoing)
Action Comics
Adventure Comics
Superman
Superman: World of New Krypton
Supergirl
Batman & Robin
Justice League of America
Justice Society of America
Green Lantern
Green Lantern Corps
The Flash
Doom Patrol
(Limited)
Darkest Night & spinoffs

Independents
Die Hard: Year One
G.I. Joe
G.I. Joe Origins

I guarantee I'm missing something here.  It's gotten to the point where I look forward to hearing that one of my books has been cancelled, because that means I don't have to buy it or feel guilty for not buying it.

I got issues.  That should be the name of my blog.  I Got Issues.  Holy Shit.  I think we got it.

Done, rebranded.

MotD: District 9

The minute I saw the trailer for this movie I was super excited to see it.  Sure enough, I screwed up and missed it in the theater then had to sit here and listen for everyone to rave how good it was while I waited for Netflix to send it to me.  Waitings over fools, this movie was cool.  I love the concept and the ease with which they presented it.  The nonchalance commonplace that the humans treated the Prawns was what sold it for me.  No spoilers here, but recommended with the highest rating.  Fantastic Sci Fi.

Back Scratching

South Side hijinx this weekend.  Putting in quality home time watching the dog.  Gives me time to catch up on reading!

I can't recommend enough the comic magazine Back Issue put out by TwoMorrows publishing.  I've been reading this book since about issue 9 or so, it comes out bimonthly (That's every two months to you nimrods).  It's on around #37 or so and while some issues are hit or miss, the overall concept is tops.

It's a Black and White pub devoted to comic books of the 1970's and 80's.  That's my wheelhouse right there.  Funny because I didn't really start getting into comics until 87 or so, but immediately, my collection looked backwards to the past.  In fact, that's the best part about collecting comics, the history.

Each book builds on the other, whether you like it or not.  The fans demand that this is so.  You can get an entirely new creative staff on a book, taking it in a totally new direction, and your fans will absolutely hold you to a throw away line, 3 issues before the writer came onboard, where Nightcrawler said he hated anchovies.  In your book you have him eating anchovies.  BUSTED.  You fucked up.  And the awesome thing is, the reader is right.  It certainly isn't important in the story, but they're right.  Any time a creator dismisses continuity, they immediately sound sour grapes, because they didn't do the homework, or didn't have the talent to use the past continuity to work their story around.

This is really, in my opinion, the strength of the 70's and 80's creators.  These were the first generation of fans graduating to creators and they respected the shit out of continuity.  They made a point of not contradicting things, and if they did, they included an explanation in it somewhere in the script.  I admire that.  That feels like they're respecting the medium and the readers.

So, this veered off into a discussion why that era is awesome.  I'll talk more about Back Issue tomorrow, but read it, it's a great mag!

MotD: Ace In The Hole

Kirk Douglas is a pimp!  I had heard about this movie when the Criterion disc came out last year and it didn't disappoint.  He plays a newspaper reporter, looking for a big story.  When he comes across a man trapped in a cave in, he seizes upon the opportunity to milk it for all it's worth.  A true visionary film into what the media would become 50 years after the film.  The circus that develops just ruins him, after elevating him first and deluding him into thinking he's getting exactly what he wants.  I recommend this movie very strongly.  It's really, really a good film.

Does whatever another director can

Been busy this week with a quick trip to Beantown and some late night debauchery with my 2nd City friends.  Good stuff!

So, this week Sony announced that they are rebooting the Spider-Man movie franchise.  New director, actors, everything.  The early lead is they're putting Peter back in high school.

If there is any franchise that doesn't need a reboot, it's this one.  Sure, SM3 had some issues, but if all the major players were willing to come back, how can you not let them?  Spidey is a concept in rarified air.  Like Batman, it can survive some shitty incarnations.  Bat-nipples and dayglo camp couldn't kill Batman and a change of direction won't kill Spider-Man.  But why?

Time is so short, there is such a limited window to get stuff like this done, why not go for it if the stars want  to?  Did Sean Connery quit Bond or did they force him out?  I don't feel like doing research on that right now, but if they forced him out, fools, the lot of them!

So, I've been reading early 80's Spidey this week and just enjoyed the shit out of them. Peter is just a perfect character.  His standard cookie cutter tale is just so enjoyable.  Pete gets in money trouble, someone near him flirts with being a villian, Aunt May has some guilt over Pete, Pete thinks about giving up, he remembers Uncle Ben's lesson and kicks someone's ass, add in some wisecracks and you're set.

That's not a dis either, that's sincerely a complement.  Just that scenario alone would be enough to keep any reader entertained.  It's a lot like Batman, where a whacky criminal commits a crime, Gordon gets involved, Batman stops a small robbery that leads to a bigger crime, you get the drift.

Not many characters have that archetype built into them.  Honestly, not even Superman.  Captain America doesn't, nor Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, etc.  I think that's what makes them bulletproof, their stories write themselves, regardless of the authors.

MotD:The Jacket

I remember seeing the trailer for this and being interested in seeing it.  I was wrong.  Wasn't the first time, just the most recent.  ugh.

Where the hell was Gargamel and Azrael?

Just returned from Avatar, see MotD below.  Crazy good, engrossing, very Cameron-ey.  I just don't want to bury the lead.  Go see Avatar.

I was gonna comment of the one off issues of Marvel's War of the Kings I read this afternoon, but happened to be at Barnes & Noble and read through the first collection of Boom! Studios' Irredeemable.  Dammit.  They won me over.

It was a quick read, so for that, I'm not sure if I'm gonna make this a pull list or pick up trades.  Most comics these days are pretty quick reads.  Decompression will do that.  Topic for another post.  This collected the first 5 issues of the comic, I put it away in about 20 minutes. 

Nothing groundbreaking, but a solid look at the hero archetypes and inversions on the theme.  By now, we've seen this before, going back to Squadron Supreme, through Authority and Astro City.  We're about to get Mark Millar's Nemesis introduced to the genre as well.  All the stereotypes are there.  A Batman kinda guy, a Tony Stark kinda guy, etc.  The premise is what if Superman turned bad.  For real.  No mind control, at least no hints at this point, no torn emotions, simply bad.

And it's good.  What I liked so much about it was Mark Waid, who I'm a MAJOR fan of, really gave him personal, psychological reasons for turning bad.  Waid is playing his cards close to the vest, at least as far as I've read here, but the clues he's given for the transformation are great.  He puts you, the reader, into the shoes of Superman and makes you ask "What would I do?"

Plutonian, the Superman analogue, saves a stadium full of people.  With his super hearing he hears every comment, including one dude, just one, saying (paraphrasing) "That guys a showoff asshole".  Think about your own experiences, when you've done something pretty good or accomplished, you hand it in to your boss, and because he can't be fully appreciative because recognizing your ability somehow diminishes him, he makes a point to nitpick one thing wrong with it.  As I typed this, I flashed to a performance review I had once, where my boss was a complete fucktard and ignored the hard work I did, to focus on some bullshit that had he mentioned to me throughout the year, I could have addressed.

See?  And that's just a stupid, pointless performance review for a job I don't even have any longer.  Imagine if you're Superman and apply whatever insecurity character trait that is to your super life. 

You see my point.

There's more examples, each issue Waid shows another way to demonstrate this principle of human flaws within an inhuman body.  Good stuff.  Recommended!

MotD: Avatar

I'm one of those guys that was turned off by the hype on this, which was telling me that my life was going to change because of this movie.  See, I have a rule that anyone who says their favorite movie is something, ANYTHING, that was released in the last 5 years, maybe even 10 years, is a complete film idiot.  I totally ignore their opinions from that statement on.  If that makes me a film snob then fine, but a good story needs to breathe, it needs to ruminate in your mind and expand in the social conciousness.  This doesn't just apply to movies.  There's a reason so many artists, painters, writers, etc. are unappreciated "in their time".  It's because the really good ones must stand the test of time.  You may love a new movie, you can put it in your top ten of a genre for the impact of it, but when you get to that hallowed discussion of "WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME?", these things need to breathe.

Having said that, Avatar is the greatest movie of all time and it fucked my eye sockets with a big blue cock. 

Seriously, it looked beautiful, the story was solid, the 3D was amazing, and performances right on.  Go see this, don't be a hater like I was.  Get off your couch and spend 3 hours with your ass in a theater chair.

Busting the 2010 cherry

Man, first blog of the year and it's already the 9th.  December ended up being a battery recharge month for me, which is cool and often necessary.  I still haven't found the time/energy/wherewithal to "redesign" the blog for a comic centric purpose, so I'll do what I did in the first place.  I'm just going to start talking comics and I'm sure the rest will catch up.

I'll try to keep up a daily schedule on this, but we'll see.  If I don't, I won't beat myself up, if I do, you don't beat me up for boring you, ok?

Just read the last two issues of the most recent New Warriors series.  This was the series after the Civil War Stamford incident and the reality show version.  It lasted 20 or so issues (they're not in front of me so I forget specifics).  Apparently, it was made up of all depowered mutants.  It hit a couple hot buttons for me, in no particular order....

1.  Depowered mutants: I liked M-Day, I like to see the aftermath of that.  For noobs out there, basically all but 200 of Marvels mutants (X-Men) had their powers taken from them, and they ain't coming back.  So, I was 1/2 way into the last issue before I realized one of the characters I was reading about was Jubilee, former X-Man.  I looked back and realized also included was Jono, formerly Chamber, now Apocalypsed up and looking pretty stupid.

My issue here is the old mantra, every comic is someone's first comic.  Now, I know, this LITERALLY was the last issue of the series, so I'll forgive them to a point, but in an age where we do have a recap page, can't we do a better job of identifying characters?

2.  Time Travel - Man, I loves me some times travels stories.  LOVES EM.  Alternate worlds, all that shit.  I liked the way they did this, using the Sphinx Ka Stone, which is a throwback to the very first NW series.  I missed the first couple chapters of it, so story wise I had to come up to speed, but it was easy to follow.

The thing is they all have that hollow, What If? problem.  Any change inevitably leads to the worst possible future ever.  EVERY one.  Someone dies today?  They never end up being the Hitler of tomorrow, nope.  They're the Gahndi of tomorrow and with his abscence, we're all fucked.  I'm sure there are TT stories where the future is better off and the heroes have to go back and have to reverse something they did, because it is against their ethics, leading to a shitty future.  I just can't think of one offhand.  I'd like to see that.

3.  Final Issues - I LOVE FINAL ISSUES.  I have an odd, sadist streak in me that for a long time, when I wasn't super completist and only had a few issues of various books, I immediately grabbed the final issue of the comic.  I remember I had the last issue of Dazzler, Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Captain Atom, Nova, and the list goes on.  There's something appealing to me about seeing the end of the story.  It's like a huge spoiler, and this was pre-internet mind you.  I just wanted to know how it ended.

Anyone have their favorite final issues?

MotD: 15 Minutes

I don't know how I missed this movie.  I knew it existed, but hadn't heard great things about it.  I know why too.  It's 2 hours long, and should have been 1 1/2.  The climax was the DeNiro story (I won't spoil it here) and then it runs on for about 25 minutes or so which just feels like it's dragging out a not subtle point.  I can't imagine how the director/producers didn't realize this.  I'm sure they did, perhaps they wanted to give Ed Burns more of a focus, as he was a big up and comer at the time.  And he's good in this, I liked it a lot actually, but that last 30 minutes just KILLS the rest of it.  KILLS it entirely.  Lots of names in the movie, they're all good, but damn, missed opportunity.